Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Kanye is NOT on Twitter


(This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts) I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I'M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I'M NOT AND I'M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN'T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT... THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT'S A FUCKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW .... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Klonek















Fun! Check out the Polish artist's other works on
his website and go here for some of his poster art

A History of Mother's Day

Who woulda thought Mother's Day has bee around for thousands and millions of years?

"Ancient Greeks celebrated Rhea, the mother of the gods, while ancient Romans had a holiday to celebrate Cybele, a mother goddess. The tradition of celebrating mothers in springtime can be traced back to the celebrations of the goddess Brigid, which occurred at the first milk of the ewes."

Read the rest of the history here

Facing Ali Trailer



Trailer Addict synopsis:
Three-time World Heavyweight Champion Muhammad Ali defeated almost every top fighter of the golden age of boxing and symbolized the sport for generations of fans. Now, ten of his acclaimed rivals pay tribute to perhaps the world’s most beloved and inspiring athlete in FACING ALI, a riveting documentary from director Pete McCormack (Uganda Rising) and producer Derik Murray (Legends of Hockey).

Coming Soon


Former Founder and CEO has developed an iPhone application powerful enough to make credit card transactions. Code named Squirrel, here's what TechCrunch revealed about the app:

It’s a service that allows anyone with an iPhone to become a merchant. Just like the wireless credit card swipers you see at certain shops and restaurants, you can carry around your iPhone and take payments. Apparently, the idea is that this will allow any individual to take credit card payments on a mobile device, kind of like what PayPal does for the web.

In other news, my BlackBerry has Google Maps :-/

Nick Cannon is Not Very Happy With Eminem

Eminem rips Mariah Carey and husband Nick Cannon on “Bagpipes from Baghdad,” on his new album Relapse. Slim Shady and Mariah were rumored to have dated in the past. She has denied the relationship.

Cannon responded to lyrics that include: I can’t imagine hat’s going through your mind after such a nasty breakup with that Latin hunk Luis Miguel,” Em raps n reference to the diva’s ex-boyfriend. “Nick Cannon better back the fuck up/ I’m not playin’/ I want her back you punk.

with a lengthy response that read in its entirety here:

Well, well, well. Fresh off the plane with my wife from our second honeymoon on the beautiful secluded islands of the Maldives and what do I find in my email box? A mediocre (at best) Eminem record that sounds like it was written in 2001. At first I thought it was old material that had been dug up from when dude “fantasized” about having a pretend fling with Mariah. I was thinking to myself, “Hey that was before me so it is really none of my business, so I’m going to give him a pass.”

So as I continued to semi enjoy Marshall’s rhyme scheme and flow, I mean let’s be honest dude used to be incredible. He was a witty lyrist with dope delivery and timing. Some even say, one of the best to ever do it. I had nothing but respect for this dude. But all of a sudden I hear my name in the verse! My first reaction was like, “This is his new shit??? Wow, that’s too bad…” Then I felt sorry for him because he must really be stuck in the past. Not only has his music not evolved, but also homeboy is still obsessed with my wife, the same female that wouldn’t let him get to second base from 8 years ago! He even describes his desperate lameness in this bad excuse for storytelling track. That’s some real middle school shit right there! (What type of grown ass man lies about getting with a chick) Only Slim Lamey! LOL!

Good Morning



Classy, Torii

Friday, May 8, 2009

Awkward Family Portraits
















Check the rest out here

Eminem- Relapse

Get it while it's hot (and still up):

http://rapidshare.com/files/230361957/EM-RELAPSE.rar

http://depositfiles.com/en/files/cj1qs5wvi

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

NJ Nick's Wrestleropedia

[ed. note: I started editing, then stopped editing. I think it's better this way]

The Greats

Hulk Hogan-The greatest wrestler of all time, I don't care what people say. Best Hero and Best villain ever he made wrestling popular twice and made it mainstream. In the 80's he came off of rocky 3 and him and Vince McMahon made wrestling into one of the most popular things around. Hogan beat the Iron Sheik and held the title for 5 years taking on Andre the Giant in maybe most famous wrestling match ever at Wrestle Mania 3. Some of these so called wrestling experts (Internet nerds) say Hogan was a poor wrestler. It has nothing to do with that- at his height in the mid 80's-early 90's, fans wanted to see him win and wanted to see him beat the bad guy with a leg drop. He was a super hero.....and you believed in him. His interviews were awesome. I can remember being 8 years old. getting ready to see him take on Savage at WM5. He just made you believe it was real and everything was on the line brother.

The Warrior and Hulk went at it in WM 6 in good guy vs good guy. It was there were he tried to past the torch. As I became a teenager, his act started getting old. It lasted almost 10 years, and then, in WCW, he turned into a bad guy turning on Savage and WCW and becoming a part of the NWO as Hollywood and he became one of the best heels ever. The heat that was generated towards Hogan was huge, it but also you respected how cool this group was because they had attitude. Now this brought wrestling back to the mainstream ............WCW became the top dog so this forced WWF to create new stars with attitude and then came Stone Cold and the Rock.............Hulk Hogan is the greatest pro wrestler of all times great on the mic great in the ring because he played his part to the thr good or bad guy learn something young bucks which you gonna do when the 24 inch pythons run wild on you

Macho Man Randy Savage- Would have been the greatest and most popular wrestler of all times if not for Hogan. Awesome in the ring his matches were always good. His mic skills classic always made you laugh even if he was a bad guy. His jealous rage for anyone who looked at Elizabeth was classic and his hatred for hogan is great. Ohhhhhh YEEAAAAAAAAH is all you need say in a deep raspy voice and everybody knows who your talking about dig it. Savage came to the WWF in the 80's to become a top bad guy and he did just that grabbing miss Elizabeth as a smoking hot 80's chick as his manager and taking on feuds with George the animal steel and Ricky steamboat........steamboat and savage had maybe the best match ever at WM3 youtube it trust me..........he then became a good guy and started a tag team friendship with Hulk Hogan this pushed him to new heights soon with hogans help he would win the WWF title at WM4 in a tourney it was an awesome moment for a year hogan and savage breaking up built up and the mega powers finally exploded at WM5 it ended there with hogan winning .....savage and hogan went at it for some time then he had feuds with dusty Rhodes the warrior Ric flair and then a awesome and scary one with Jake the Snake ..........he then jump ship with hogan to WCW and help them become big as hogan turned on him to start NWO then Savage joined NWO and had wars with flair again and ddp all and all prob my favorite wrestler ever... hogan needed savage in my opinion the 2nd biggest star from the 80's and 90's snap into a slim jim Ohh Yeaaah
Ric Flair Wooooooooooo" to be the man you have to beat the man" Flair was maybe the best in ring wrestler of all times. And was awesome on the mic as well. WOOOOOOO the Nature Boy carried NWA/WCW for years winning the world title like 15 times. He and Sting were the other guys from the other league not named wwf in the 80's but Flair would always catch your attention when he interviewed letting you know that the 4 horsemen were styling and profiling all night long wooooo. Flair came to WWF in 92 and brought his world title and instantly was build up by bobby the brain and Mr perfect as the real champ and was going to take on hogan in an 80's dream match they did wrestle but never in the main event like they were supposed too Flair did win the wwf belt and then had a great feud with Savage he eventually went back to WCW and was there during its boom period taking on the NWO and giving some great and funny interviews he is one of the greats
The Rock - IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING .....the rock maybe the funniest guy ever in wwf. The Peoples Elbow, The Peoples Eyebrow, Rudy_poo candy ass.... and just thinking of some of his lines is making me laugh. When he went to movies the majority of people stop watching he was the last great one. The Rock came into wwf as Rocky Mavia and the fans hated him then the WWF let him change his imagine into a trash talking bad guy who had monster feuds with Stone Cold. This was the 2nd great era in WWF this was when nudity and cursing was all over the monday night raw and the rock helped bring the wwf back and beat out wcw. He soon became one of the most popular wrestlers of all times fans would chant his name and scream his catch phases if only he would come back i might watch again he is the great one
Stone Cold Steve Austin - A beer drinking pissed off redneck who beat up his boss. He help bring wrestling back to the mainstream in the late 90's in a whole new way by having a feud with his boss Vince McMahon he would come to the ring talk give the finger stun you and then drink 12 beers he was every 18-35 olds hero injuries shorted his career but for a period he was as big as hogan in the 80's with a whole different style why because stone cold said so oh hell yeah ....every Monday night you would to hear that glass break and see him walk to the ring and open up a can of whip ass
Andre the Giant - the 8th wonder of the world maybe the most recognizable wrestler before the boom of the 80's and then the hulksters biggest challenge. Many people don't realize that Andre was a very big fan favorite but then he turned on Hogan and joined bobby the brain and it created one of the most anticipated matches ever. His stories are legendary apparently Andre could drink 50 beers 2 bottles of jack eat 12 hamburgers and hot dogs and still be sober and hungry one of the biggest and beloved men ever
Shawn Michael's - the heartbreak kid was a scrawny guy with a mullet as a part of the rockers but then became a bad guy and kicked Marty jannetty through a mirror on the barber shop he then went on to put on classic matches with razor ramon ladder match and bret hart in a crazy feud that ended in a real life screw job before brett left for wcw........he then stayed with wwf and helped bring all kinds of wild stuff to TV with DX using lines like suck it and pointing to his privates ...he always puts on fun matches
Ultimate Warrior- One of the coolest looks and gimmicks of all times no doubt about it he was a jacked and tan monster with cool 80's hair and awesome face paint he wore flashy colors and ran to the ring like a crazy person once he was in the ring he would run around shake the ropes pound his chest and beat people in 10 seconds (like the honky tonk man at summerslam 89) He was the most popular guy of the early 90's besides hogan and at WM6 might have passed hogan in popularity with a huge win ..........after that warrior had all kinds of issues ...rumors of him being dead after he was actually fired for steroid abuse still go on to this day. There were never two warriors as wwf finally confirmed years later just a couple of suspensions for steroid use and money hold outs when the warrior came back 3 times he always looked smaller and he never gained the popular status he did back in his hay day its a sad sad thing because he could have been one of the best
Sting - also a very cool look in the 80's and 90's the most popular wrestler never to wrestle in wwf.......in the 80's he had the cool face paint like the warrior and cool 80's spiked hair always fighting flair. in the 90's he took on the look of the crow with black and white face paint he did not wrestle for like a year he just came from the rafters and beat up the nwo the stinger was awesome
Roddy Roddy Pipper- one of the craziest guys ever with bag pipes playing and wearing a kilt the hot rod was one of hogans first villains he was easily the most hated wrestler in the mid 80's after beating snuka up and then going after hogan each week on his pipers pit .....he also fought mr.t in a boxing match wm3 he was one the big names of the 80's in the 90's he was in and out of wrestling but would always make come backs and get the crowd going his interviews were always wild youtube him talking trash about bad news brown or anybody for that matter
Brett "The Hitman" Hart- the excellence of execution the sharp shooter one half of a great tag team the hart foundation then became a great singles wrestler. a lot of people feel he was the best in ring wrestler ever he was the follow up act to hogan after hogan left for wcw so it was a tough act to follow but he held the wwf title a number of times and had all time great feuds with austin and shawn michales...........the montreal screw job which turned out to be a real life thing as Vince McMahon made the bell ring so michales can win the wwf title because Brett was leaving for wcw and brett went nuts punching vince out backstage .......he was great in the ring never really was able to generate the excitement of some the bigger guys
The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiese- everybody's got a price money money money money was his theme music followed by an awesome laugh the millon dollar man came on to the scene in the late 80's buying everything he had an African American man servant virgil which now could never work do to PC and he tried buying everything including the wwf title when he could not buy that by using andre the giant he made his own belt the million dollar belt one of the best bad guys ever
Jake the Snake Roberts - with his snake Damian and his ddt jake the snake was one of the best good and bad guys ever. He always creeped opponents out with his snake scaring the likes of andre the giant and ravishing rick rude..........him and his snake damien were loved until Damien was crushed by earthquake then it seemed jake took a turn for the worst by turning into one of the scariest bad guys ever he attacked macho man randy savage and elizbeth at there wedding and he also slapped her and had his new snake bite savage it was gruesome tv back in the early 90's
Ravishing Rick Rude -for all you fat overpaid losers from NJ take a look a real man the ravishing one was one of the true great bad guys of his day he won the IC title and had a good feud with the Warrior he always knew how to stir up the crowd and his tights always had some funny lines on it he also was one of the first to go from DX on wwf tv to the next night being on the NWO on wcw tv
Mr. Perfect - simply perfect mr. perfect came into the wwf with so much hype he had little commercials showing him hitting half court shots drilling home runs with wade boggs he was the perfect athlete another IC champion who had great matches every time in the ring also was a great manger to rick flair when he came over the perfect plex one of the best finishing moves ever
Undertaker-the dead man maybe the only guy wrestling that i know today came into the wwf and scared the crap out of every little kid he littlerly made you believe he was going to kill hogan and the warrior and bury them. He spoke few words and he was supposed to be some super human man who paul bearer would control with his urn. He was the fastest rising bad guys ever he tombstone his way to the wwf title. He scared people for years and had feuds with everyone hogan, hitman, warrior, heartbreak kids, jake the snake, austin, the rock, triple hhh all who rested in peace
Sgt Slaughter - huge jaw who was the drill Sargent who loved his country and American was always on g.i. joe he then came back in the early 90's to betray American and become a middle eastern iraq solider the feud way ahead of its time saw him hate on American and take on hogan for the the wwf title the sarge was always a tough sob
Legion of Doom- the best tag team ever Road Warrior Hawk and Road Warrior Animal
Kevin Nash/Diesel- Diesel was wwf champ then went to wcw and help start the NWO was nicknamed big sexy and help bring cool trash talk to the wrestling scene in the 90's
Demolition-here comes the axer and the smasher one of the best tag teams ever great face paint and dominated the tag team scene in the late 80's early 90's wwfs best tag era
Honky Tonk Man-greatest IC champ ever so he says he was a elvis look a like who would dance and sing on his way to the ring great gimmick
Greg "The Hammer" Valentine- had great matches against everyone in the 80's his big elbow was the hammer he teamed with the honky tonk man he was the master of the figure four as well
The Steiner Brothers-Scott Steiner and Rick Steiner - this tag team was big in wcw/nwa for years held tag belts in wwf as well Rick would always bark Scott became the Big Poppa Pump a roided out freak who loved the ladies but had funny interviews in the late 90's great duo in and out of the ring
British Bulldog - ic champion great tag wrestler with the bulldogs and his dog matilda a big part of the hart foundation as well
Ricky the Dragon Steamboat-crazy high flying moves one of the best matches ever against savage and had great wars with flair in wcw
Tito Santana - he won the ic title and always had great matches tag or singles and he should sue bobby the brain heenen for all the times the brain would make fun of mexicans when he was in the ring haha
Hacksaw Jim Duggan-hoooooooooooo with his 2 by 4 always got the crowd hyped and always fought hard in the ring he won the first royal rumble hoooooooooo tough guy
Mr. Wonderful Paul Ordonoff- the guy was jacked had a big feud with hogan in the 80's and really got little kids hating him and his cool robes
Jim the Anvil Neighthardt- one half of a great tag team the hart foundation he had a great goatee and awesome laugh in his wild interviews
Scott Hall-Razor Ramon-the bad guy ooozing machismo throwing toothpicks at people as razor then invaded wcw and started the NWO which help bring wrestling back
Dusty Rhodes -huge in wcw/nwa in the 80's then became the common man in wwf and had some good fights with savage and you cant forget his manager saphfire and his jiggly body
Brutis the Barber Beefcake - he would cut your hair after he put you to sleep with the sleeper hold another top good guy until he got hurt in the late 80s in a boating accident
Bam Bam Bigelow- big guy who was awesome in the ring very athletic had crazy tattoos all over and cool tights he wrestled LT in a WM main event
Big John Stud- huge dude who had good feuds with Ande the Giant won a royal rumble in 89
Big Boss Man- your serving hard time.....one half of the twin towers had good feud with hogan
HHH- DX member that's when he was cool had great matches in the late 90's he is big time now but i don't think he will ever become a legend
123 Kid- X Pac -high flying kid who turned into a member of both DX and NWO had some funny moments during those times
Arn Andreson - one half of the brain busters and a huge part of the 4 horsemen in wcw
Mankind -Mick Foley - a guy who would do anything in the ring get hit with nails tires barbwire the hard core legend ......was a real big the wwfs comeback in the late 90's
Lex Luger- the guy was jacked and was underrated as one of the top guys in wcw for so many years wwf tried to make him a star in wwf with the lex express and was funny as the narcissist
Superfly Jimmy Snuka-jumping off a steel cage head first might be one of the great moments ever or when piper beat him with a coconut always fun to watch even at 70 now
Akeem- or one man gang he was in a tag team with big boss man the twin towers and had some memorable moments in the ring against the mega powers slick and him would rap in interviews haha
Bad News Brown - just a bad a*s from the streets great bad guy in the early 90's he was before his time hated everyone had an edge to him
Earthquake- came out of the crowd as a fat fan and then broke hogans ribs almost causing him to retire him and typhoon formed a very big and bad tag team
Bob Backland - held the title before hogan a good wholesome guy was his role until he turned into a great bad guy in the 90's cross face chicken wing haha
Iron Sheik - great heel in the early 80's played the mid east guy to perfection with his long boots and crazy iraq talk
George "the animal" Steel- a crazy person who ate the ring post and loved miss Elizabeth very hairy dude
King Kong Buddy - a big man who just looked like a regular big guy at a bar who could break your ribs and thats what he did too hogan... one of heenens family memebers
Owen Hart/Blue Blazer-owen was great in the ring and really played the little brother act awesome too brett..rip
Chris Jericho - the walls of jericho another home grown wcw talent that turned into a big wwf bad guy during the wwf vs wcw days
The Bushwackers- one of the funniest tag teams ever but really held there own in the late 80's during wwfs great tag team era luke and butch mate
Barry Windam - a part of the horsemen great tag team wrestler in the 80's and singles guy in wcw
DDP- BANG .......one of wcw only home grown starts the diamond cutter
Sid Justice - Pyscho Sid was crazy on the mic a huge man who always took on top dogs like hogan hbk sting undertaker were ever he went but it always seemed he come in during down periords so he is lower then some people think
Yokozunia - wwf champ and very athelitic for being a hot messs bunzi mr. fujis top bad guy during the early brett hart era
Hercules - a huge dude who carried a big chain and help put guys like the warrior on the map with there early battles
Kurt Angle - in ring skills awesome real olympic champion and he played the d bag awesome
Dino Bravo- the candian strong man great bad guy to put up against the hogans and warriors because of his strenth
New Age Outlaws - if you didnt know your a&s better call somebody top tag team in the late 90's
Texas Tornado- Kerry Von Erich IC champ in the wwf during the hey day had a similar built to the Warrior but better in ring skills
Big Show - the late 90's version of Andre a big dude who could move WCW and WWF champ
Rey Mysterio Jr. - one the most succesful small wrestlers ever in wcw he made light weights cool
Eddie Gurreio - high flying guy who brought mexican style to the mainstream
Don "The Rock" Marocco- a monster who was at one point a top bad guy then a top good guy in the 80's
Koko B Ware- the bird man great piledriver cool gimmick frankie was a cool bird was a high flyer in the ring
Rick the Model Martel- one half of strike force his arogance spray and late 80's look was great awesome wrestler as well
Jeff Jarrett - using his gutiar and double j gimmick now owner of tna
Flying Brian Pillman - a complete nut case who had awesome moves in the air
Powers of Pain-barbian and warlord two of the biggest dudes in the world would kill it now
Great Muta - most time in japan but came to wcw and spit green stuff in peoples face
Vader - big man who had awesome moves its vader time
Haku/Ming- was part of the heenen family and a tag team with andre he would scream wild noises in the ring during matches
Harley Race- king harly race had epic matches in nwa
Kamala- crazy big fat guy with cool makup from africa
Booker T - what now sucka was his famous line one half of harlem heat became a very good singles wrestler in the late 90's
Managers and Broadcasters
Mean Gene Okerland
Jessie the Body
Gorilla Monsoon
Bobby the Brain Heenen
Vince Mcmahon
Tony Shavonne
Mike Tenay
Jim Ross
Jerry the King Lawler
Howard Finkle
Superstar Billy Graham
Miss Elizabeth
Senonsational Sherri
Captain Lou
Classy Freddie Blassie
Jimmy Hart
Slick
Mr Fuji
Harvey Wiplemen
Paul Bearer
Chyna
Sable
The Not So great
Tugboat
The Montie
Papa Shango/Godfather
Marty Jannety
Buff Bagwell
Doink
Tatanka
Repo Man
Hillbilly Jim
Crush
Red Roaster
Brokylin Brawler
Disco Inferno
Barry Horiwitz
Virgil
Brother Love
Duke the Dumpster
Val Venis
Baston Booger
The Genius
Giant Gonelzes
Amand Johnson
Zeus
Golddust

Presidents: They're Just Like Us

One Month Till Conan Return



God, I hate Leno

Vanity Fair Feature on Jessica Simpson


The cover story chronicles the rise and fall of the pop singer. Papa Joe comes off pretty creepy in this one:

Jessica was still wearing the purity ring, so Nick, presumably, was a frustrated man. They broke up and would have stayed so if not for … “After 9/11, I knew that I never, ever wanted to be away from Nick for the rest of my life,” Simpson told a reporter. They hugged through the aftermath like survivors in a disaster movie and were married in October 2002. In the wedding video (the ceremony was photographed and filmed by InStyle), Joe Simpson looks pained. This was not the plan. First, there was the matter of control. As it says in the Bible in re marriage and parents: leave and cleave. Then there was Jessica as a pop commodity, with no small value as an object of sexual fantasy, a value, as any manager of talent can tell you, that diminishes if said commodity is married. This is not how Joe Simpson phrased it. He spoke instead of his own early marriage and of not wanting his daughter to make the same mistake, but I think he scowls in the pictures—in part, anyway—for the same reason Brian Epstein told the Beatles to date around and be free.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Links



All sugars were not created equal

Eight food Myths

Fascinating New Yorker feature on Edgar Allen Poe

22 awful fictional babysitters

Interview
with Depeche Mode

The Worst Movie Ever Made

I remembered this awful movie when I caught word yesterday that my middle school girlfriend got a sex change last year. I did a little Googling and came across her blog that said this:

"I never dressed as a feminine woman or dated men as a female..."

What a liar! Did she forget all about our magical month together in 7th grade? Anyway, we were inexplicably in the front row of the sold out theater seeing this creepy, creepy film.

"A marvelously witty and wacky black comedy"?! The critic must have been referring to Sinbad's "Houseguest". And geez, how old is Mary Steenburgen now?

If you're wondering, the horrible film grossed $7.5 million, half of which seemed to have come from my local theater.

Movie Star Death Frequencies















Will Smith has only died in 2 films; Denzel 7; DeNiro 14. See the whole list at Premiere
(via NY Mag)

Phoenix: Lisztomania

One of the few good SNL performances this season.

Where Jobs Have Been Lost

















Slate has an interactive graph to show where jobs have been gained and lost in the U.S. since '06:

Friday, April 17, 2009

Thursday, April 16, 2009

When Larry Met Woody

NY Observer has the piece. It's a good one.


So, a new Woody Allen movie starring Larry David filmed right here in New York City. Could there be a more deep-fried mix of talent, comedy and neuroses? For most of us, Woody Allen is as quintessential New York as the Chrysler Building. Many New Yorkers grew up with a vision of this city spun by Annie Hall and Manhattan and Hannah and Her Sisters, where the skyline always twinkles and romance lurks around every limestoned corner; where brainy, nervous men charm young and naïve beautiful women in grand prewar apartments lined with bookshelves; where there are country weekends with lobsters to chase and always—always—love to find and fail.

And then there’s Larry David, another Brooklyn boy made good, co-creator and writer of Seinfeld, which defined New York all over again in the ’90s, with its exquisite, endless examinations and sweating of the small stuff—soup Nazis, being master of the domain, parking garages and puffy shirts. Since his 1999 HBO special Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm, and the still-airing series that followed, he’s made performance masterpieces of excruciating situations. The news that he was to star in Mr. Allen’s latest had some rubbing their hands in anticipatory delight, others sharpening their knives, all anxious to see if Mr. David could pull off the ultimate as a Woody misanthropic paradigm.

The Perils of Social Media

From the NY Times:

When two Domino’s Pizza employees filmed a prank in the restaurant’s kitchen, they decided to post it online. In a few days, thanks to the power of social media, they ended up with felony charges, more than a million disgusted viewers, and a major company facing a public relations crisis.

In videos posted on YouTube and elsewhere this week, a Domino’s employee in Conover, N.C., prepared sandwiches for delivery while putting cheese up his nose, nasal mucus on the sandwiches, and violating other health-code standards while a fellow employee provided narration. The two were charged with delivering prohibited foods.

By Wednesday afternoon, the video had been viewed more than a million times on YouTube. References to it were in five of the 12 results on the first page of Google search for “Dominos,” and discussions about Domino’s had spread throughout Twitter.

Below is Domino's response video which has been praised in USA Today:


The CIA Interrogation Memos

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3a, Part 3b, Part 4a, Part 4b

And Obama's statement:

This is a time for reflection, not retribution. I respect the strong views and emotions that these issues evoke. We have been through a dark and painful chapter in our history. But at a time of great challenges and disturbing disunity, nothing will be gained by spending our time and energy laying blame for the past. Our national greatness is embedded in America's ability to right its course in concert with our core values, and to move forward with confidence. That is why we must resist the forces that divide us, and instead come together on behalf of our common future.

The United States is a nation of laws. My Administration will always act in accordance with those laws, and with an unshakeable commitment to our ideals. That is why we have released these memos, and that is why we have taken steps to ensure that the actions described within them never take place again.

The Girlfriend Experience Trailer















Translation: Yes we can- be on time every day.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

In Case You Forgot About Prince's Ridiculous Symbol



















He introduced the symbol in 1992 in case you wanted to be reminded that you are OLD

Links

Springtime in New York: a slideshow

Newsweek cover story on epilepsy

On modern day one-hit wonders

9/5/08 Radiohead concert on NPR

Super ant colony

Bench ads

Nukes

Steve Coll of The New Yorker lays out Obama's challenge of striving towards nuclear non-proliferation:


"Ronald Reagan, Henry Kissinger, George Shultz, and Sam Nunn are among the Cold War-era defense hawks who have preceded Obama to an embrace of nuclear abolition. Even so, it is commonplace to criticize this vision as naïve, since the goal is unlikely to be achievable anytime soon. This criticism distorts the abolitionist movement’s work; its supporters do not generally waste time on speculative debates about when and how a world containing precisely zero nuclear weapons might eventually be created. Instead, they want to drive down the world’s nine nuclear arsenals to much smaller sizes as quickly as possible—perhaps to the tens or low hundreds of weapons, in the case of the United States—and, while doing so, to make nuclear weapons as illegitimate and impractical as possible."

Monday, April 13, 2009

Still a Politician

I love Obama, but sometimes I'm reminded that in many ways, he is still a politician. Nowhere is this more apparent than his stance on gay marriage. He is FOR civil unions but AGAINST gay marriage. Now, it's understandable why he held this position during the campaign; He was courting independents who were more likely to be swayed by social issues.

However, the Windy City Times reported that when President Obama ran for the Illinois State Senate in 1996, he was unequivocally for same-sex marriage President-elect Obama’s answer to a 1996 Outlines newspaper question on marriage was:

“I favor legalizing same-sex marriages, and would fight efforts to prohibit such marriages.” There was no use of the phrase “civil unions”

Granted, it's possible Obama has changed his views over the past 13 years, but more than likely he has been playing politics. As the population continues to shift towards favoring gay marriage, I won't be surprised when the President reverts back to his old stance.

The Voice of Summer


Growing up in South Jersey, I was never really a Phillies fan, but I was always a baseball fan. On summer days, after running around outside for hours, one of my favorite things to do was lay on the couch and flip on channel 57. The backdoor breeze and the voice of Harry Kalas calling the ballgame was summer personified to a 10 year-old. That unique, drawled, Midwestern delivery was so relaxing, so unmistakable. And the call- everyone from the area knows and has probably imitadated their own version of the call- "Looong fly ball to deep center field, it could be, it isss...ouuutta here, Mi-ckey Mour-an-di-ni!" Sad day.

Kalas calling the last 3 outs of the World Series
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."

- Steven Wright

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Jason Kendall Sucks at Baseball

As I watched the dynamic duo of Jon Miller and Joe Morgan ruminate on how bad the Milwaukee Brewers catcher is in tonight's Sunday Night Baseball telecast, I had flashbacks similar to the end of The Sixth Sense remembering just how bad he was on the Oakland Athletics.

He is hitless in 15AB this season. He hit .242 and .246 with a total of 5 home runs in '07 and '08, respectively. He is so bad that I made my friend be Jason Kendell while I was the fake Barry Bonds (Reggie Stocker) in home run derby MLB06 PS2 (I still lost, I am the Jason Kendall of video gamers). Not that I NEEDED validation, but I Googled "Jason Kendall sucks" and here's what I found in some of the first few results:

Danny's Blog: Does Jason Kendall Suck?

In closing, Jason Kendall sucks balls, and will be a giant black hole for the Brewers all year. Or until he is replaced. ..

Cubs Acquire Jason Kendall
Cubs got Jason Kendall for FREE (basically) Rob Bowen was sent to the A's .... Kendall sucks. But if he's better than the other options you guys have then ...

Why the 2009 Milwaukee Brewers Will Suck
Bleacher Nation ...Jason Kendall sucks both at and behind the plate. Bill Hall vanished last year, and now he’s hurt or something, leaving someone like Mike Lamb to start at ..

Baseball Toaster: Catfish Stew : Kid Kendall
My five-year-old daughter decided early in the season that Jason Kendall was ... her dad thinks that player sucks

By the way, Kendall makes $5 million a year

Dear Zachary: The Craziest Documentary I Have Ever Seen


Basic premise:
Crazed woman kills boyfriend after he breaks up with her,
Flees to Canada where they drag their heels on the extradition back to the U.S.,
Woman announces she is pregnant with victim's son,
Best friend/filmmaker decides to document his life, interviewing friends/family/etc.,
Then everything goes completely haywire.

MSNBC aired this a few months ago (part 1 is here), but if you are looking for something to add to your Netflix queue, I recommend picking Dear Zachary . It is jarring:

"Stamping it bluntly, Dear Zachary is one of the best documentaries I've ever seen and I am not prone to such hyperbolic statements. Kurt Kuenne has remarkably turned this into a furious lightning bolt of reminiscence and outrage that is going to reach into each viewer's chest and squeeze their heart like a tomato in a vice. Dear Zachary unfolds like a masterful thriller that never loses respect for the wake its tragedies have left. And still, by the end when we're exhausted and ready to collapse under the weight of our tears and anger, Kuenne has created an absolute love letter to the art of parenting...it's the best documentary of its kind probably since Errol Morris' The Thin Blue Line. This is Oscar-worthy material and hopefully enough people on the committees will see it and cast a vote for next year." - Erik Childress, eFilmCritic.com

Story Time

From a friend:

One of the dumbest things I ever did in my youth was explain to my mother how to use AOL. When her father passed away, our family got some money and decided to hop onto the exciting rollercoaster that was the budding internet revolution.

I was 11 years old at the time, and I would bop around in the VH1 chatroom. It was the only one I could find that seemed remotely relevant to anything I liked. I would type in A/S/L and talk about how much I loved Hanson to a bunch of middle aged people that did not respond or care.

A few months later, more people bought computers, and my mom started to take interest in what I was doing on there. I excitedly explained the wonderful world of talking to strangers and how much easier it was to talk to my aunt in an instant message box. I showed her how to go into chatrooms and explained the typical protocol and she was excited to explore the world herself. Soon after she began to spend hours transfixed in front of the screen in the Long Island Over 40 Chatroom, not even talking, but simply watching other people in the chatroom converse.

This was around the time my parent’s marriage hit the skids. My mom spent a lot of time on the computer, and one day my dad came home with another computer and said we would get a second AOL account so that the rest of the family could actually use the internet. He put the computer in the basement, and as you might have guessed, it wasn’t long before he too spent much of his free time in the basement on that computer.

Whenever any of us would go down to the basement, my dad would immediately close all the screens on the computer. My mom clearly became curious as to what exactly my father was doing on the computer for so many hours. Her solution for this was to enlist a spy, 12 year old me, to try to find out. I guess in all honesty at the time I was excited to spy on my father, because at least if I could report something back to my mom, she would care enough to talk to me.

At random times during evenings, I would try different approaches to seeing what was on the screen. Sometimes I would try to run down the stairs, pretending I had something exciting to tell him. I wanted to catch him off guard before he had time to close all the windows. Other times I would creep down the stairs, hoping he wouldn’t hear me before I got far enough down to see the screen. My favorite was opening the door and laying my body partially crawled down the stairs while I craned my neck to view the monitor.

I never saw anything, however, because my glasses were broken and my parents were not interested in replacing them.

[ed. note: I was not expecting this M Night Shamalamadingdong twist ending]

Is YouTube Doomed?

Fliqz CEO Benjamin Wayne thinks so:

"The problem lies with the bean-counters. According to a report by Credit Suisse, YouTube is on track to lose roughly $470 million in 2009. No matter Google’s $116 billion market cap: a half-billion dollar loss on a single property, even one as large as YouTube, is a bitter pill to swallow. Even Eric Schmidt, talking to the New York Times about the YouTube acquisition, was quick to say that, going forward, Google would “be more careful with potential large expense streams, which are of uncertain return.”

Credit Suisse estimates YouTube will manage to rake in about $240 million in ad revenue in 2009, against operating costs of roughly $711 million, leading to a shortfall of just over $470 million. This half-billion dollar loss comes after more than a year of feverish experimentation in various forms of advertising, cross-product embedding, licensing and partnership deals. YouTube is adamant that ultimately they’ll find an advertising solution that will enable the ungainly behemoth to reach profitability. Looking at the math, it doesn’t seem likely."

Completely Clueless

If the World Was a 100 Person Village




















See all of Toby Ng's designs here

The YouTube Presidency

From the New York Times:

"... and while Obama’s campaign speeches weren’t delivered expressly for YouTube the way Oval Office addresses are delivered for TV, the versions of those speeches millions of us saw were tailored to the site, with titles, omissions, crowd cutaways, highlight footage and a dozen other manipulations of sound and image that affected the impression they made. When Obama delivered his speech on race a year ago, the campaign uploaded, for example, its own version of the speech; it was cleaner and more elegantly produced than the CNN version, and it has been played more than 1.5 million times.

Every one of the president’s weekly public-address videos is conspicuously labeled “public domain,” and commentary is welcome. Plenty of detractors weigh in. Name-calling — “socialist pig,” “fascist in chief” — jostles for space with praise (“Nice to have an articulate, intelligent, thoughtful president again”). In general, the effect is one of openness and inclusiveness, even as the shooting and spreading of the videos has been tightly controlled. As of this writing, no video has surfaced, for example, from a St. Patrick’s Day White House event with the Irish prime minster, at which Obama thanked himself in an effort to parody an earlier teleprompter mishap. Could this be because his joke might be taken out of context by those who consider him the Teleprompter President?"

Saturday, April 11, 2009

iamdiddyJust leavin the club!!!! Now the party really begins!!!! You only live once!!!! Just do it!!!!! Close your eyes and JUMP!!!!! Let's go!!!!

iamdiddyI'm so HIGH off life right now!!!! Get HIGH with me!!!! Off of life!!! Life is such a blessing!!!! Thank you GOD!!!!!!

iamdiddyIts 330 am!!!! Are you LOCKED IN????!!!!! Let's go!!! Who's wit me????

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Best of Leon

Moon Trailer


awesome.

Gooooal

Walker


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Rumor Has It

That President Obama will throw out the first pitch at the Yanks home opener.

Do You Like Fishsticks?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Slideshow of the Death of Newspapers


Sigh

Good News

A silver lining to our deathscape economy, pirate attacks (and attacks on naked pirates), auto industry collapse and so on and so forth....

HBO's Eastbound and Down has been renewed!

"The premium cable network announced Wednesday (April 8th) that production on a new run of “Eastbound & Down” will begin later this year and will premiere in 2010"

I wonder if Kenny Powers will chime in on the news.

Pirates! No, Not Those Ones

The University of Maryland was to show the porno titled Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge at its student union last week. BUT, Maryland State Senator and total buzzkill, Andrew Harris (arrrrR-MD), wasn't too keen on the idea of a public university airing porn so he threatened to withhold school funding.

University of Maryland, home to incessant Israel versus Palestine sidewalk chalk wars, riots, and library masturbators, is not one to shy away from controversy. So some administrators, lawyers, ACLU members and students held a "rebel screening" to air pornographic footage and teach all sorts of "Full House" lessons about copulation and the responsibility of caring for Comet.

The stuffy TIME version of the events are here
The fun Gawker versions are here and here
And the Diamondback student newspaper piece here

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Roid Ball


Addicting Games decided to steal the idea my friend Jaiah and I had in college to create a video game where the protagonist uses steroids.

Our game would start out with this nerdy kid who gets picked on by all the bigger guys at school, including the most roided-up, bacne'd linebacker. In the each level, the hero has to fight increasingly big kids from school and steal their creatine, HGH, and so on until he's huge enough to beat up the guys who have the good stuff like Winstrol or Danabol on their person. Once he's jacked and raging out of control, Roid Man takes on the linebacker to win the heart of the slutty cheerleader.

Unfortunately, neither of us knew anything about Flash, programing or basically anything that would have let us realize our dream of creating "Roid Man". So here is the next best thing, I guess. Compete in home run derby as Josie Conswaco, Berry Bombs, Marky McWeird (among others) and choose whether or not he's training on the juice. You might hit more home runs, but watch out for random drug tests!

(credit: deadspin)

This is What You Want Your $100 Million Player Doing


Near decapitation. I love Ovechkin.

The Facebook Revolt

NY Mag's 4,000 word feature on Facebook:

"This is a crucial moment for Facebook, and a delicate one, because We, the users, are what Facebook is selling. “Facebook is walking a fine line of keeping the trust of its members, and wanting to exploit them for profit,” says Nicholas Carr, author of The Big Switch. “It’s having a tough time balancing the two.” In 2007, the company was valued at $15 billion, after Microsoft bought a 1.6 percent stake for $240 million, but profit has been elusive. If they can solve this problem, come up with a viable business model—one might note that if they charged $1 a month for the service and even half its users stuck around, it would take in $100 million each month—it could go public and even become the first big IPO to reinvigorate the market; if Facebook doesn’t, Zuckerberg & Co. will struggle to resist a takeover by a very rich tech company (well, Microsoft) for a fire-sale price of a billion or two. After CFO Gideon Yu announced his exit last week, the company claimed that it was looking for a replacement with public-company experience, but the way forward is far from clear. The history of social networks is an absurd one of missed opportunities, from Tripod to Geocities to AOL, though Facebook thus far has avoided their pitfalls. It’s been unaffected by Friendster’s technical glitches and its taint of uncoolness; Facebook’s antiseptic design clears away the lascivious, spam-ified, knife-wielding clutter of MySpace, a site that was double Facebook’s size in the U.S. eight months ago but whose technological innovation has been stymied by News Corp until recently."

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Ovechkin's Hole-In-One

"I swear God. I swear my mom"

Inside North Korea

In honor of the test launch this morning (night?), here is a rare look inside North Korea. Shane Smith, founder of VBS.tv, was one of 16 journalists granted permission to visit the country through a bizarre visa process. Things only got weirder as you'll see. Below is one of 14 clips touching on different aspects of North Korea including: The DMZ, Pyongyang, Schoolchildren, Memorials an Gifts, and Karaoke! I recommend watching them all. The whole thing is insane.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

UNC Hate


Not my words, but they might as well be:

I hate this fucking UNC team. I hate them more than hitting my funny bone, more than Coke Zero commercials, more than when my roommate blasts TV at 4 AM right outside my door, more than philosophically wrong Pitchfork Media reviews, more than using scripture as a basis for human thought, more than war, more than hippies, more than Don Delillo's "literary" books, more than the flex offense, more than college football's bowl system, more than the college loan system, more than the fact that banks charge you thirty dollars when you have negative money already, more than failure, more than condoms, more than hangovers, more than jovial greeters at chain bookstores, more than the word "intense," more than when people use "u" instead of you on the internet or text messages, more than people who say the NCAA tourney is "boring" when good teams win against smaller seeds no matter how good the games were, more than people who constantly claim thaty classic rock is underrated despite the fact that it has entire radio stations, more than people who voted against gay marriage and hate being married themselves, more than slavery, more than radio rap, more than white Jesus, more than the horror film genre, more than bad pizza, more than teams that jack up threes when they get panicked, more than bad announcing, more than Van Halen, more than David Spade now that he is old, more than reality television's vast expanse of anti-knowledge, more than life itself, more than the crippling loneliness and depression that haunts me for long periods of time, more than work, more than the word "diva," more than passive-aggressiveness, more than spam emails, more than the shakes after a binge, more than my boss, more than freedom fries, more than rhyming dictionaries, more than people who say "whoa, you must be really smart" whenever someone mentions a book over the level of "Chasing Harry Winston" et al, people who get mad when bands change their sound a bit, more than the its-it's rule, more than referees allowing big guys to get calls thye don't deserve way too early in games, more than the mess I clean after parties at my house, more than hemorrhoids, more than animal rights, more than the smell of hand sanitizer, more than people that bring up politics no matter the surrounding, more than assholes who walk slower than the crowd, more than all the petty grievances I have had, will have, or have presently, more than all of it-- all.

My New Favorite Site

Material Bitch

Top Stories

Here are some of the top stories around the country

NYT: Europeans Offer Few New Troops to Afghanistan
WaPo: Celebrity Adoptions Scrutinized
LA Times: Extra Extra Coming Out of the Woodwork
Sun-Times: Obama Makes Pitch for 2016 Olympics
SF Chronicle: 25 Years of Wrestlemania
Miami Herald: Obama Set to Ease Cuban Ban on Travel, Money
Detroit Free Press: It's Loud, Busy, and Packed at the Final Four
Dallas-Morning News: Plano, Area Cities Looking to Video Game Industry for jobs
Atlanta-Journal Constitution: Sign AT&T Contract, Get a 50$ Laptop

Links

8 scientists who were their own guinea pigs

Blame whitey, says Brazil's prez

Newsweek profiles Amy Poehler

Early NYC in black and white

You Tube bleeding Google dry

And don't let this guy coach your daughter's soccer team (and not because he's a molester, for once)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Bruno Trailer

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Cost of Beauty

Newsweek has a graphic on how much women spend on beauty products throughout a lifetime.

For example, Teens thru 20s:

Hair: $15,761
Face: $32,684
Body: $10,586
Hands: $6,834
-------------------
Total: $65,865


And the accompanying article on the beautification of tweens

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Passive-Aggressive Notes

In honor of anyone who can't say it to the face of their roommates, neighbors, cleaning ladies, tenants, and coworkers, there is passiveaggressivenotes.com

100 Ways to Kill a Peep


Tis the season. Quite a misleading title considering the site only has 15 ways thus far. Nevertheless, check the site out here.

Lady Gaga

NY Mag has a little piece on how Ms. Gaga rose to fame. And if you need some Poker Face, click here.

"In 2004, she graduated from the Convent of the Sacred Heart, a private girls school near the Guggenheim with a dress code of kilt skirts. “We were good girls, but we weren’t nerdy like the girls at Chapin,” she says. “We were the girls that guys still wanted to date junior year of high school, because we hadn’t had sex or given blow jobs yet.” Things are different for her now, as a bisexual adult who idolizes transvestite fashion. (A tabloid recently quoted Christina Aguilera dissing her—“I don’t know if it is a man or a woman”; Gaga ate it up.) “I love sex,” she says, tipping her sunglasses down a bit and leering. “You know, sense memory is a powerful thing. I can give myself an orgasm just by thinking about it.”
Pimpin it in the Limo

Monday, March 30, 2009

Spring Stimulus

Spring is fighting through the wind and the rain to poke its sunny head through the WORST winter in life's memory. Not the worst winter weather wise. They are all equally bad. I'm talking about the R or D word that's been on the tip on the tip of every one's tongues since October.

In New York City, we've seen glimpses: the token random February 68 degree Tuesday, the "I think spring is here, but it's really not" mid-March day, and a few others where people wear coats even though it's 75 degrees just because it was 50 yesterday.

April is just about upon us. Baseball starts back up this weekend. Before we know it we will be dusting off our jorts and capris to bask in warmness of springtime. It won't save our economy or open up new jobs, but there's something hardwired into our brains that says that the new season represents much more than a few degrees. People literally spring into life.

Restaurants and bars open their patios. People stroll around instead of beeline for the next destination. Sunglasses make everyone look less ugly. Hacks and hack-nots ball together on the courts. Rollerbladers make us laugh and a little jealous at the same time. Strollers and ice cream cones and all sorts of Mary Poppinsish outdoor nonsense come to mind so much that I should be writing this in poem form.

It's the collection of it all that makes the new season so great. This isn't about suppressing the trillion dollar distraction; it's about renewing a sense of living. Nobody wakes up every morning to log a ten hour day and cap it off with some Two and Half Men in their Snuggie. Part of the charm of the city is walking around, taking in sights and sounds and freaks and lost tourists without freezing our ass off speedwalking to the subway.

We constantly hear about this Crisis of Confidence. True, no one will buy anything if they have no money or fear losing their job, but no one wants to do much of anything when they are miserable in the cold. Pea coats are nice and the indoor/outdoor contrast makes for a nice juxtaposition when saying "f*** it's so cold out there" or "f*** it's so much warmer in here". But one of the rights of passages living here is braving the horrifically cold winters and horrifically hot summers to enjoy the fall and spring of New York City.

In a time when no news seems to be good news, the best news ends up not being news at all. Rather it's something so simple and bare as the turning of the seasons. Time to get out and enjoy it.
 
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